The child lives with me, but I get no money
In short
The child came with you — a grandmother, an aunt, an older brother. You feed them, take them to school, take them to the doctor. And the kommune says: “you are not the mother or father” — so there is no money.
The hardest part is that the kommune is telling you a half-truth. Some of these benefits genuinely are not yours under the law — that is not a caseworker’s mistake. But others are, and that is exactly where kommunes and get it wrong most often.
This guide separates the two: where arguing is pointless, and where you are right and should appeal.
everything turns on one word — forsørgelsespligt: only parents have a legal duty to support the child
Does this apply to me?
Yes, if a child from Ukraine lives with you and you are not their mother or father. It does not matter whether you hold — these benefits depend not on the type of permit, but on how you are registered in relation to the child.
Steps
The child was registered as “uledsaget” — even though they arrived with you
Normally the Danish authorities assess whether an adult nearby has in fact stepped into the parents’ place. For Ukrainian children that assessment is not made at all. Udlændingestyrelsen has stated that it does not carry out a ledsagevurdering in Særloven cases, so these children are registered as uledsagede — unaccompanied.
This is not an error and does not mean the child will be taken away. The child gets a residence permit in their own right under § 1 of Særloven, as a Ukrainian citizen. But this is where the confusion over money starts: on paper there is no adult responsible for the child.
so the first thing to do is get yourself registered. None of the three routes works without it
Get temporary custody — it is free and there is no form
It is called midlertidig forældremyndighed, and the basis is forældreansvarslovens § 28: custody is transferred temporarily when the person who holds it is “forhindret” — unable to make decisions about the child.
Normally being abroad is not enough on its own: if you can reach the mother by phone, she does not count as “forhindret”. But for Ukraine, Socialministeriet says it plainly: the country is at war and contact can be unstable — so the condition may well be met. The same applies if the parents share custody but only one of them can be reached.
decides. There is no official form: you send the request to post@familieretshuset.dk, after which you and the child are invited to a meeting.
custody is unpaid: it brings no salary, no duty to support the child, and no right of inheritance
Route one: plejetilladelse — and børneydelse must be paid to you
This is the quietest route. You get a from the kommune — permission to care for someone else’s child at home (barnets lov § 42). It is not the state placing the child; it is recognition of what is already the case.
And here is the key point, which caseworkers themselves often miss. § 4(7) of the børne- og ungeydelse act is worded as an obligation: if the child is in privat familiepleje, is paid to the person who took the child in. Not “may be paid” — is paid.
in that case may be paid to you — that one is at Udbetaling Danmark’s discretion (§ 8(5)).
What børne- og ungeydelse is →there is no support money from the kommune here — privat familiepleje is not one of its services
Route two: netværkspleje — money from the kommune, but børneydelse stops
If the kommune formally places the child with you (barnets lov §§ 46–47) and approves you as a (§ 58), real payments begin.
For Ukrainians the circle of such families was widened on purpose: under § 31 a of Særloven the kommune may approve a family that shares the child’s language and culture — even if they are not relatives in the usual sense.
But there is a price: the child now counts as supported by public funds, and børne- og ungeydelse and børnetilskud stop.
a refusal to approve you as a netværksplejefamilie cannot be appealed — but decisions about the money can
If the parents are no longer alive, the amounts are different
Here the law was written for exactly this situation. Særligt børnetilskud is doubled when neither parent is alive, and it is paid to whoever supports the child.
On top of that the kommune may cover the cost of supporting the child — integrationslovens § 38 (the first 5 years) or aktivlovens § 84 afterwards. This help is given regardless of your income and savings.
And one more thing: the “6 years out of the last 10 in Denmark” requirement attaches to whoever has the duty to support the child. If the parents have died there is no such person — and borger.dk confirms that you do not need to have lived or worked in Denmark for this.
You were refused. Where the kommune is right, and where it is not
Split the refusal in two — part of it is lawful, and arguing about that part costs you the deadline for the rest.
The kommune is right to refuse børnetillæg, the single-provider supplement, fritidstillæg and særlig støtte. All of them are tied to forsørgelsespligt or to “your own child”, and under Danish law that duty rests only with biological and adoptive parents. confirmed this in principmeddelelse 5-20.
The kommune is wrong when it says “no custody, no benefits”: through privat familiepleje, børne- og ungeydelse is yours by law. Another common error is demanding 1 or 3 years of residence in Denmark: for Ukrainians under Særloven that requirement was removed by LOV nr 546 af 03/05/2022. It is not stated on borger.dk, which is why the refusals keep happening.
If the decision was given to you verbally, forvaltningslovens § 23 gives you 14 days to demand it in writing, with the legal basis stated. Without that there is nothing to appeal against.
How to write to your kommune →the appeal goes first to the same authority, and only then to Ankestyrelsen — it is free
What you will need
- The child’s CPR number
- The child’s residence permit decision
- Birth certificate with a translation
- A document showing how you are related to the child
- A privat straffeattest for yourself
- A børneattest, if the child is under 15
- The kommune’s decision in writing — in writing specifically
Danish words you will see
- Forældremyndighed
- Custody: the right to make decisions about a child. Temporary custody is granted by Familieretshuset.
- Plejetilladelse
- The kommune’s permission to care for someone else’s child at home. It opens the right to børne- og ungeydelse.
- Netværkspleje
- The child is officially placed with people close to them, and the kommune covers the costs.
- Børnetilskud
- An extra child benefit, separate from børne- og ungeydelse. You have to apply for it.
- Familieretshuset
- The authority that decides questions of custody over a child. Not the kommune and not a court.
- Ankestyrelsen
- The body that reviews appeals against decisions by your kommune and Udbetaling Danmark. Appealing is free.
Common mistakes
- Assuming that without custody you are entitled to nothing. With a plejetilladelse, børne- og ungeydelse is paid to you by law, not at anyone’s discretion.
- Agreeing to netværkspleje without doing the maths. Money from the kommune appears, but børne- og ungeydelse and børnetilskud disappear.
- Spending the money first and asking to be reimbursed afterwards. The 20,000 kr. a year comes without receipts, but it has to be agreed with the kommune before you spend, not after.
- Accepting a verbal refusal. A spoken “you are not entitled” cannot be appealed. Demand the decision in writing within 14 days.
- Missing the 4 weeks. The clock starts when you receive the decision. Miss it and nobody is obliged to look at your case.
- Believing the borger.dk table about 1–3 years of residence. For Ukrainians under Særloven that requirement was removed by a separate act. Cite it.
Need to talk to a human?
For plejetilladelse and netværkspleje, ask your kommune’s children and families department. For the payments, Udbetaling Danmark — a separate authority. For custody, Familieretshuset, 7256 7700. Everyone is entitled to free first-level legal advice.
Where to turn and what to say →Where this information comes from
- Checked against sources: 22.09.2026
- Sources: Socialministeriet — Ukrainians and the social sector (ledsagevurdering, § 28), Familieretshuset — temporary custody of foreign minors, Barnets lov (LBK nr 642 af 01/07/2026) — §§ 42, 46, 47, 58, 59, Lov om børne- og ungeydelse (LBK nr 603 af 12/05/2025) — § 4, stk. 7, Lov om børnetilskud (LBK nr 63 af 21/01/2019) — §§ 4, 5, 8, LOV nr 546 af 03/05/2022 — this is where § 31 a was inserted, and where the opholdskrav was removed, Særloven — the base act on residence permits for people from Ukraine, Ankestyrelsen, principmeddelelse 5-20 — only parents have forsørgelsespligt, Retssikkerhedsloven (LBK nr 680 af 03/08/2026) — §§ 66, 67 on appeals, Socialministeriet — kost og logi rates for 2026, VEJ nr 9336 af 24/03/2026 — børnetilskud amounts for 2026 (TABLE 18)
This is an explanation in plain words, not legal advice. The final word always belongs to the authority. How we check
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